Hi, Neighbor

Today would have been Fred Rogers' 80th birthday, and to celebrate him it has been designated "Sweater Day." By whom, I'm not sure, but I'm wearing my favorite V-neck in his honor.

Last summer the City of Pittsburgh announced plans to erect a statue of Rogers, to be

completed in time for today's remembrance. I'm not sure if it got finished in time or not, but either way this is a perfect day to reflect on what he stood for. For a lot of GenXers, Rogers is one of the few memories from our childhood we look back on with no trace of irony. Maybe it's hard to believe in this cynical era but Rogers really was what he seemed to be -- a genuinely nice man who spent his life helping children and who exhorted other to do the same, to understand and love them for who they are, because nothing was more important in their development.

The Rogers philosophy that was repeated like a mantra throughout his lifetime explained that who we are and who we become as adults is a direct result of those who have taken a genuine interest in us, those who have encouraged, inspired and, above all, listened to us as children. -- Joann Cantrell

As a parent, I spend a lot of time thinking about how I raise my kids, and how I can teach them the values that I think are important -- fairness, compassion, respect of others, a desire to make the world better. I think all that starts with teaching them that they are important, and special, and making sure they are confident in who they are so they can eventually go out and pass that confidence on to others.

So, today, take a minute to think about the people who made you who you are today, and think about who looks to you for guidance, and how you can make them the best people they can be.

Have a wonderful day.

Family Videos

A couple of grainy, shot-with-our-Nikon video clips, for your viewing pleasure. First, D-Jo's friend Sarah stopped by with her daughter Katie, and Zosia enjoyed bonking the balloon off her head:



And then we are proud to present Genevieve, the Farting Baby:

An Open Letter to Graco

To Whom It May Concern,

Last weekend, I was at Toys R' Us, where I purchased (among other things) a Graco Pack 'n' Play playard. My wife is expecting our second child in a week or so, so we were buying some last minute necessities: an umbrella stroller, some changing pads, a couple skids of newborn diapers, etc.


For moms who know, and the rest of you can go to hell.

We decided to buy a new Pack 'n' Play, even though the one that Zo used is still in fine condition. It's well-travelled, having accompanied us on many cross-country flights and drives as well as a long weekend in Tokyo when Zo was a tiny baby. We decided to go with a new one, though, and ship our old one to Grandma's house, because of the nice features and decent price on this particular unit.

When we got it home and I grabbed the box to get it set up, however, I noticed the slogan on the box:

Graco: For Moms Who Know.

We're big fans of Graco products -- our Metrolite stroller has served us very well, as did our Infant Safeseat -- so when it came to buying a playard there was really no competition. But this slogan ceratinly gave me pause. I love being a parent, and I like gadgets. I like buying stuff, and when the stuff I buy is for my kid, well, that's a plus because I get to feel virtuous, like the hours I spent comparison shopping whatever will result in my kid being happier, healthier, and/or smarter. Granted, a playard isn't going to do that, but believe me when I tell you a playard isn't the only thing I've had a hand in buying for my kids.

A slogan like that might have made sense thirty years ago, but it's a new age. Nowadays people like Alternadad, Metrodad, and The Blogfathers, to name only a few, are taking a much more active role in the parenting of their child. At the very least, they're involved in the buying decisions for the family, and since that's what this is really about maybe it's time to move into the 21st century. Since the only reason you give a product a slogan is to move more product, don't you think you should think about using a slogan that won't turn off half of the buying public?

Rethinking Rock Classics

I always assumed that the Beatles song "Hello, Goodbye" was about two lovers breaking up because they couldn't see eye to eye about things. After all, Paul wrote it after he had met Linda, but while he was still involved with Jane Asher:

You say yes, I say no
You say stop and I say go go go
You say goodbye and I say hello
I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello

I say high, you say low
You say why and I say I don't know, oh no
You say goodbye and I say hello
Hello hello
I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello

But now that I have a two-and-a-half-year-old, I know what it's really about: trying to get your kid to do something. Anything.

(Which is not to be confused with the Todd Rundgren album "Something/Anything?," which includes every kid's least-favorite song, "The Night The Carousel Burnt Down.")

It's not the only song that means something different than it used to; for example, I know now that "Another Brick In The Wall" isn't allegorical, but pretty much literal ("if you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding"). What other songs have changed meaning for you now that you've had kids?

I Heartily Concur: Bill Maher

Writing on Salon a few weeks ago, Bill Maher started an op-ed about the current HPV vaccine controversy this way:

New Rule: If you don't think your daughter getting cancer is worse than your daughter having sex, then you're doing it wrong.

I don't have much to add to what he wrote. I have a daughter, and another on the way, and as soon as they can be given this vaccine (at age nine), they will be.

Am I worried that giving her this vaccine will make her want to have sex? No. I'm worried that not giving her this vaccine will increase her risk of getting CANCER.

According to the National Cancer Institute (a division of the National Insitutes of Health), 10,000 women will be diagnosed with the cancer caused by HPV this year, and 4,000 will die from it. The vaccine prevented nearly 100 percent of the precancerous cervical cell changes caused by HPV, and the NCI estimates that it has the potential to reduce cervical cancer deaths around the world by as much as two-thirds.

It's pretty simple: this vaccine prevents cancer. Many people who get cancer die. Therefore this vaccine prevents people from dying. It will help prevent my children, and yours, and everyone's, from dying.


Buy your Fuck Cancer patches and hats from Deviant Goods

As far as the sex thing is concerned, giving my daughters this vaccine will give them a better chance of living to the point where I have to worry about them having sex. I'll deal with that issue then, and I'll be glad I have to worry about it at all.

I Heartily Concur: Steven Johnson

Author Steven Johnson took David Brooks to task a few weeks ago for Brook's beyond-ridiculous anti-hipster-parent screed in the New York Times. Johnson isn't the only one -- as you might imagine, the blogosphere, which is full of hipster parents, was full of hipster parents with something to say about Brooks' embarrassingly tone-deaf piece -- but he was the only one I read to make this point:

"Brooks' obsession with the surfaces of hipster parenting ends up blinding him to the real trend here, which is central to almost all the examples he cites: young parents choosing to raise their children in the city, not the suburbs. That is a decision with real consequences, not an empty gesture. It has material effects on children and parents -- and the cities they live in. It's a decision with political and environmental implications, and also one with some surprisingly old-time Americana values. (Brooklyn parents can be cloyingly sentimental about the small town friendliness of their neighborhoods.) It has almost nothing to do with non-conformism, and everything to do with the kind of community -- diverse, sidewalk-based, public, culturally-rich -- we want to raise our children in. It's striking that Brooks doesn't even find that trend worth mentioning in the piece -- much less taking it seriously."

My wife and I made the exact choice he's talking about, choosing to raise our child/ren in Harrisburg, a city that has all the things Johnson mentions and more. My hipster cred can't touch that of, say, Neal Pollack, but personally I couldn't care less what David Brooks, or just about anyone else, thinks about the way I'm raising my family. Like Pollack, what I care about is the my kids end up being thinking, creative individuals, not indie automaton clones of me.

Hooray For The JCC!

Zosia switched to a new school last week. OK, I suppose it's not technically a school, but it's more than a day-care center, too. Let's go with "early childhood program."

For the last year she's been at the East Shore YMCA, which has been extremely convenient. It's less than 5 minutes away and right on the way to work, and we got a free gym membership when we signed her up. So for us it was ideal.

For her, though, it was OK. Good but not great. The teachers are very nice but there didn't seem to be a whole lot of learning going on. I feel a little strange complaining about some of the things I didn't like -- lots of coloring on photocopied drawings, snacks consisting of discount sugary cereal -- because those things were done that way due to the shoestring budget they operate on. Other things were more significant -- for example, the Y lacked an outdoor play area. On warm days they would pack everyone up and go out to Riverfront Park, or even over to City Island, which was great, but most days their physical play consisted of a couple hours in the gym. And there were no art facilities, no sand or water tables or the like, no chances for the kids to get dirty.

Still, Zosia really enjoyed going there, she made her first real friends among the other kids, like I said her teachers (Monica, Margaret, and later Kasey) were great. Plus, you know, they totally potty trained her, which was worth the cost of daycare all by itself. Over the last few months, though, we sensed that maybe it was time for her to move on. She was getting close to the age when she'd move up to the next class up, and that class had gone through a significant amount of teacher turnover. The next result was, it seemed to us from observing during pickup and dropoff, lots of time spent watching videos and playing on the computer. Plus it seemed like the way discipline was doled out was different than in Zo's current class -- it's not that the teachers were rough with the kid, but they raised their voices more (and more quickly) than we would have liked. That might be how they thought they needed to deal with rambunctious three- and four-year-old boys, but it just seemed wrong to us.

So we started looking around and ended up visiting the JCC Early Childhood Center and loving it. The vibe was fantastic, with lots of kids of lots of different ages running around doing lots of stuff. There were art stations set up, water tables, books, dress-up, blocks, you name it. The teachers seemed extremely involved with the kids, and, to top it off, they have a huge outdoor playground that they use every day (as long as the wind chill is about 20 degrees). We were sold right as we walked in, and the more we learned (they're moving over the a Reggio Emilia program, they have weekly music and art classes, the JCC has a full gym and pool for us to join), the more we wanted to get Zo there right away.

Alas, we had to wait a few weeks since they were full. But they were working on hiring another teacher so they could increase the number of students while maintaining their ratio, and within a few weeks the new teacher was hired and Zo was in!

She started about a week and a half ago and I think she's really liking it. She already talks about her new friends (including Ben, with whom she discusses Blue's Clues and lollipops), and the things she does throughout the day. It just feels like she does more -- at the Y I feared that she was getting bored and therefore acting out a bit, and I don't get the sense she's bored at the JCC. In fact, I think they run her a little ragged -- she's been sleeping more at night and taking longer naps on the weekends -- which is great. Today the temperature is in the 30s and I'm psyched to think she's out climbing on the jungle gym.

Suddenly Yorvit Torrealba's Name Makes Sense To Me

From Sunday's New York Times (registration required):

Venezuelan Parents Love A Famous Name

Apparently there is a long tradition of Venezuelan parents bestowing, shall we say, unusual names upon their children:

"A glance through a phone book or the government’s voter registry reveals names like Taj-Mahal Sánchez, Elvis Presley Gomez Morillo, Darwin Lenin Jimenez, even Hitler Eufemio Mayora. Other Venezuelan first names, which roll off the tongue about as easily in Spanish as in English, include Yusmairobis, Nefertitis, Yaxilany, Riubalkis, Debraska, as well as Yesaidú and Juan Jondre — transliterations of 'Yes, I do' and 'One hundred.'"

Further down in the article is this:

"Some parents relish the challenge. Gilberto Vargas named his daughters, ages 10, 7, 4 and 2, Yusmary Shuain, Yusmery Sailing, Yusneidi Alicia and Yureimi Klaymar. His sons, one 9 years old and the other 9 months, are Kleiderman Jesús and Kleiderson Klarth."

Are Yorman Barzado and Yusmiero Petit their long-lost brothers? And of course no baseball namephreak post would be complete without mentioning Ugueth Urtain Urbina, currently in jail for his involvement in a shooting in his native Venezuela.

Perhaps the Venezuelan practice of unusual names has spread a bit throughout the rest of Latin America, particularly to the Dominican Republic, which has given baseball not only the well-known Vladimir Guerrero, but also Ubaldo Jimenez, Edinson Volquez, Yhency Brazoban, Merkin Valdez, Runelvys Hernandez, and my personal favorite, Ambiorix Burgos.

Good Lord

Twenty-four years old, with six kids, including twins and triplets born within ten months of each other. I'm speechless.